After running into a high school classmate that I had not see in approximately 22 years, we began to catch up on what was going on in our lives. She was proud to tell me that her nursing career led her to become what was akin to an 'Erin Brokovich' in her industry. She then whispered an aside to me, 'I wish I could tell our school counselor what I have accomplished.' She had been told that according to standardized test results offering career guidance, the indication was that she had only limited choices. The counselor read from the page: 'You could be a bus driver,' in a condescending/attempt- at- humor tone. Being a bus driver is an admirable profession as well, and many lives can be touched in this job. Skills are necessary for this career if this is your calling; but the way it was presented did not sit well at the time; and also had not left this person's memory after many years. This lady passed away not long after I saw her. I wonder, in awe, what additional wisdom she has now?
Many, if not each and every one of us, has more than likely faced this type of experience. Being told that we do not stack up, that we should put a cap on our dreams and goals, or that we do not seem to fit into some sort of pre-conceived grid or chart.
How do we perceive ourselves? Isn't this what truly matters? As is typical; I left my weekly prayer discussion on this topic. Immediately, confirmation and further meditation on the subject jumped right into my hands. As I checked my email, the first one I opened was from an Oprah book club suggestion entitled: "Five Journal Prompts that Change the Way You See Yourself." Amazing. There are some awesome ideas on self-evaluation and on becoming who you are meant to be in this journal- formatted book by Meera Lee Patel.
Today, while contemplating this topic, I picked up Jesus Calling for the advice from yesterday's entry that I had not read. ...."Begin by practicing discipline in all the little disappointments of daily life. It is often these minor setbacks that draw you away from My Presence. When you reframe setbacks as opportunities you find that you gain much more than you have lost..."
Matthew Kelly has addressed this topic as he encourages us to be the best version of ourselves. He suggests that parents make sure to teach and encourage their children to be comfortable to be in their own company, to develop a strong sense of self, so that when they are at the mercy of their peer group, they can learn to walk away. Help them to do this by learning to listen to God, by leaving a place in every day for silence and prayer. This will help them to block out the noise of the negative comments and actions of others. To be who they want and choose to be.
Life Experience: He handed my spelling book back after making corrections, only after carving his rendition of my eyeglasses and stating how ugly he thought I was in pen on the front of my book. The book that I would have to see every week in the sixth grade. I can laugh now, after contacts and blow dryers were invented, as well as having a pretty good self esteem. Interesting to note, I heard that this mean person never changed. He stole from a friend who had entrusted him to do some construction work on her home.
She was driving to the hospital, rehearsing the steps in the delivery, what would be needed to accomplish breathing in the very tiny life that would be arriving soon. This, after many years in various positions as an RN. Dialysis, Dialysis equipment sales, re-entering the workforce after raising children, earning the prestigious Daisy Award while taking care of the most vulnerable neonates. She had been told she was a slow learner, she was placed in what was called the 'Animal Group' in the eighth grade. What if she had listened? Look at the lives she has touched and saved. What others say can deflate us if we let them; or we can ignore and let it motivate us. The memory of the disparaging remark may well last a life time, but we can choose to not allow it to sting forever.
Sometimes, it takes many years to get validation. Stay the course. Believe in Yourself. Dream Big.
